FHE 6/25: Special Lessons

This talk, "Special Lessons" by Elder Ronald A. Rasband, centers on life lessons learned by caring for a child with special needs.  It really hit home for me with Caida's struggles with epilepsy the last 5 1/2 years.  When you have something like that strike in your life, you really do learn many small but powerful life lessons.  I had a hard time deciding exactly how to approach this talk this week (which is why you're getting it late); the first part of Elder Rasband's talk focuses a lot on having faith through adversity, while the second half of the talk really struck me as a call to action of sorts--to be superheroes in serving others!  Seriously, the word "superheroes" just kept running through my mind as I read.  :)  Anyway, I'd thought about going both ways, but really I wanted to focus on this idea of compassionate service for those in need, knowing the worth of souls is indeed great in the sight of God.  We sometimes think our families will just learn how to treat other children with special needs (or any different circumstances), but explicitly talking about these things--and ultimately about how much Heavenly Father loves us ALL--is absolutely necessary if we want to ensure our children and families are compassionate and accepting of all.

 

POINTS TO PONDER BEFORE YOU BEGIN:

 

• What lessons have I learned from my biggest trials?
• We know the worth of souls is great in the sight of God--what does that mean?  What is the worth of souls to us?
• What experiences have my children/family members had with special needs?

 

QUOTES:

 

• “A perfect body is not required to achieve a divine destiny. In fact, some of the sweetest spirits are housed in frail frames. …“Eventually the time will come when each ‘spirit and … body shall be reunited again in … perfect form; both limb and joint shall be restored to its proper frame’ (Alma 11:43). Then, thanks to the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can become perfected in Him.”¹
• "Some might ask when faced with such suffering, how could Almighty God let this happen? And then that seemingly inevitable question, why did this happen to me? Why must we experience disease and events that disable or call precious family members home early or extend their years in pain? Why the heartaches? At these moments we can turn to the great plan of happiness authored by our Heavenly Father. That plan, when presented in the pre-earth life, prompted us all to shout for joy. Put simply, this life is training for eternal exaltation, and that process means tests and trials. It has always been so, and no one is spared. Trusting in God’s will is central to our mortality. With faith in Him, we draw upon the power of Christ’s Atonement at those times when questions abound and answers are few."
• "President James E. Faust, my boyhood stake president, said: “I have a great appreciation for those loving parents who stoically bear and overcome their anguish and heartbreak for a child who was born with or who has developed a serious mental or physical infirmity. This anguish often continues every day, without relief, during the lifetime of the parent or the child. Not infrequently, parents are required to give superhuman nurturing care that never ceases, day or night. Many a mother’s arms and heart have ached years on end, giving comfort and relieving the suffering of her special child.”"
• "Paxton’s family has learned they are surrounded by countless heavenly and earthly ministering angels. Some have quietly slipped in when needed and silently slipped out. Others have been at the door with food, doing the laundry, picking up the siblings, calling with encouragement, and especially praying for Paxton. Thus another special lesson learned: If you come upon a person who is drowning, would you ask if they need help—or would it be better to just jump in and save them from the deepening waters? The offer, while well meaning and often given, “Let me know if I can help” is really no help at all."
• "One night early in Paxton’s life, we were in the neonatal intensive care unit of the wonderful Primary Children’s Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah, marveling at the dedicated, undivided attention given by the doctors, nurses, and caregivers. I asked my daughter how we would ever pay for this and ventured a guess at what the cost would be. A doctor standing nearby suggested that I was “way low” and that little Paxton’s care would cost substantially more than I had estimated. We learned that much of the expense for care given in this hospital is covered by the generous gifts of time and monetary contributions of others. His words humbled me as I thought of the worth of this tiny little soul to those who were so carefully watching over him. I was reminded of a familiar missionary scripture that took on new meaning: “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.”
  I wept as I pondered the limitless love our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, have for each one of us, while learning in a powerful way what the worth of a soul is, both physically and spiritually, to God."

 

SONGS:

 

• "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus"
• "I Am a Child of God"
• "I'll Walk With You"
• "Every Star is Different"
• "We Are Different"

 

OBJECT LESSONS:

 

• Don't Judge a Kiwi by its Cover by Jenny Smith: "Pass around the kiwi fruit. Make the point that the kiwi has a rough, unpleasant, hairy, tasteless exterior. Ask the students the following questions:1) What makes the kiwi fruit seem unappealing? (It's exterior.)
  2) What are some outward features by which we judge others?
  3) Who might be "kiwi people" around us?
  When the fruit has been examined by everyone, peel off the skin, and slice up the inside to share. Make the following points:
  1) Under it's unappealing exterior, the kiwi is an exciting, delicious fruit.
  2) The kiwi is one of God's creations. Do you think God loved it less than a shiny apple or perfect strawberry? Why not?
  3) You may feel you have a kiwi-like exterior. How does God feel about you? Read 1 Samuel 16:7.
  3) People around us might be like this kiwi -- unappealing on the outside. How must we treat "kiwi people" around us? (By looking at them as God does -- focusing the good that's on the inside. Read 1 Samuel 16:1-7)"
  
   

 

GAMES & LEARNING ACTIVITIES:

 

• There are a variety of activities you can do, but keep this great advice (from the experts) in mind:

Basic ideas to share with your child

1. No two people are the same -- some differences are just more noticeable.
2. A disability is only one characteristic of a person. People have many facets: likes and dislikes, strengths and challenges.
3. Children with disabilities are like all children in that they want friends, respect and to be included.
4. Children can be born disabled or become disabled from an accident or illness. You can't "catch" a disability from someone else.
5. Just because someone has a physical disability (when a part or parts of the body do not work well) does not mean they necessarily have a cognitive (or thinking) disability.
6. Children with disabilities can do many of the things your child does, but it might take them longer. They may need assistance or adaptive equipment to help them.
7. Try to use clear, respectful language when talking about someone with disabilities. For a younger child, keep explanations simple, such as, "She uses a wheelchair because a part of her body does not work as well as it could."

• One way to help children develop empathy is to do (tactfully) disability awareness activities--have them sculpt play-doh or get through a simple obstacle course, or even performing simple tasks like tying shoes or finding their way to the bedroom, but they have to adapt it because they are blindfolded/can only use one hand/foot, etc.  Discuss how they initially felt about having to do it with a "disability," but then focus more on the fact that they used their creativity to find a different way to do it, and it still got done--beautifully! Focus on the beautiful and positive things that come from various disabilities--like sign language and braille, and the special lessons mentioned in the talk.
• There's a story from the Friend (Tin Pot, 1998) about a girl who helps a boy with disabilities...and she learns that it's the flower that matters, not the pot you put it in.  (An object lesson, too!)  You could also (especially for younger children) find some books from the library about children with special needs and read and discuss them.
• For older children/youth: Allow family members a few minutes to find a scripture of either someone with disabilities coming unto Christ or of a prophet expressing concern over his weaknesses (there are quite a few to choose from!).  You could show pictures from the Gospel Art Kit.  Discuss how the Lord takes care of our needs one-by-one, and no one is exempt from His love and compassion.  If we truly want to take upon us the name of Christ, we must deal with people one-by-one in love and compassion as well.
• Also for older children/youth: Have a Q&A/panel discussion, or invite a family member with a disability to speak (if they're comfortable).  Children have so many great questions, both about the day-to-day stuff and how it all relates to the gospel, and allowing them to ask any questions and to hear about it all straight from the source can really make a big difference.  For example, my niece talks to her class sometimes about what is going on, how it makes her feel, etc., and once the kids can talk about it, they are MUCH more accepting of her differences. 
• From the sunbeam manual: "Using familiar examples from your ward or area, discuss how to show kindness and love to those who have disabilities. Help the children think of specific ways they might help a person with a disability. How can we show love (or play, etc.) to someone who cannot see? How can we show love to someone who cannot hear? How can we show love to someone who uses a wheelchair or crutches?"  (Really, giving specifics and openly talking about these things takes away a lot of the "mystery" of it all.)
• For younger children: have popsicle stick puppets or pictures of two children--one with a disability, one without--for each child.  Start by asking questions that get at their differences, such as "this child can use their eyes," etc., and have them hold up which child they think you're talking about...but end by moving into several questions that get at their similarities.  Point out that we all want friends, want to learn and grow and be healthy, have likes/dislikes, things we're good at and things we're not, etc.  Emphasize through this activity that people are more alike than different, no matter where they come from or what challenges they face. 

 

HANDOUTS & FREEBIES:

 

• The last picture in the "Service" category on THIS PAGE is a good coloring page.  :)
• There are some neat quotes to add to your files on disabilities from Church leaders HERE.
• There is a very practical coloring book free to download HERE that teaches kids disability etiquette--concrete ways to be kind.  Along with that, there are some great activity ideas, discussion items, and book recommendations from the same people HERE--you have LOTS of secular resources for this!  :)
   

 

CRAFTS & MORE:

 

• Make family superhero tee-shirts or capes! Discuss the principles of ACTION and SERVICE in this talk, and use the superhero costumes as a reminder to act. 

 

TREATS:

 

• Chocolate coins (worth of souls)
   

FHE 4/23: Feeling God's Love

This week's FHE ideas are based on Elder Paul E. Koelliker's talk, "He Truly Loves Us."  I'll admit, the talk seemed a little scattered to me because all the notes I'd taken on it DURING conference had to do with missionary work, so I must've missed something then.  But I got it together and I think this is the theme he really wanted to get across--especially given the title.  :)  Reading it in that context, I found a few really poignant thoughts in his talk and now I love it TONS.  Who doesn't need to feel the love of God more in their lives?  And teaching our families to recognize the Spirit (that conduit to His love) is one of the MOST IMPORTANT things we could ever do.

POINTS TO PONDER BEFORE YOU BEGIN:

• When is the last time I really *felt* God's love?  How did it feel?  How did it come about?
• Does my family teach a pattern of love that leads each member to understand God's love for us?

QUOTES FROM THE TALK:

• He quotes President Hinckley: “To love the Lord is not just counsel; it is not just well-wishing. It is a commandment. … Love of God is the root of all virtue, of all goodness, of all strength of character, of all fidelity to do right” (“Words of the Living Prophet,” Liahona, Dec. 1996, 8; “Excerpts from Recent Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley,” Ensign, Apr. 1996, 73).
• "The feeling of love from our Heavenly Father is like a gravitational pull from heaven. As we remove the distractions that pull us toward the world and exercise our agency to seek Him, we open our hearts to a celestial force which draws us toward Him."
• "Awakening the desire to know enables our spiritual capacities to hear the voice of heaven. Finding a way to awaken and nurture that desire is the quest and responsibility of each of us—missionaries, parents, teachers, leaders, and members...It is when we yield to God’s will and live His pattern that His Spirit is felt."
• "The Father’s plan designated the pattern of the family to help us learn, apply, and understand the power of love...Because of the heaven-designed pattern of the family, we more fully understand how our Heavenly Father truly loves each of us equally and fully."
• "Both modern and ancient scripture are full of reminders of Heavenly Father’s eternal love for His children. I am confident that our Heavenly Father’s arms are constantly extended, ever ready to embrace each one of us and say to each one with that quiet, piercing voice, 'I love you.'"

SONGS (you can listen to them online HERE):

• "I Feel My Savior's Love"
• "I Am a Child of God"
• "My Heavenly Father Loves Me"
• "Where Love Is"
• "Love One Another"
• "I Know My Father Lives"
• "Teach Me to Walk in the Light"

OBJECT LESSONS:

• GOD'S LOVE NEVER CHANGES: Show kids a dollar bill (or higher).  Ask what it's worth and if anyone wants it.  Then crumble it up, step on it, etc.  Show the tattered thing now.  Ask if it's still worth the same and if the kids still want it.  Just like the worth of the bill doesn't change, OUR worth to our Heavenly Father doesn't change no matter what we've done or where we've fallen short--He loves us unconditionally.
• THE COMFORTER: Take a fluffy comforter or other blanket from home and throw it in the dryer for a while before FHE.  After talking briefly about what the Spirit feels like, wrap each child in the comforter.  Talk about how one of the roles of the Spirit IS being the Comforter and He can help us feel God's love like a warm blanket when the cold world leaves you feeling alone and unimportant.
• THE GIFT OF THE SPIRIT: Gather a camera with a flash and a flashlight or glow sticks, and turn off the lights.  Explain to your family that before we are baptized and confirmed, we can get little glimpses of God's love through the Spirit, kind of like the flashes of a camera in special moments.  But after we are given the gift of the Holy Ghost, it's like God's love and Spirit are a flashlight (or glow sticks) lighting the way constantly before us--as long as our batteries are fully charged!  Talk about things that "charge our batteries" from the talk or from your own experiences, such as prayer, scripture study, keeping the commandments in all things, and loving our families.
• PRAYER: Prayer is a BIG part of feeling God's love.  Hold up a cell phone and ask them to name places where they've used a cell phone. Answers may include in a car, outside, in the house, even on a boat.  Now ask them why they have used a cell phone. Answers may include I needed information, when I needed help, when I may be lost and not know directions, or when I just want to talk to someone.  Talk about how we can ALWAYS call on Heavenly Father through prayer, and He will ALWAYS be on the other line--you'll never get a busy signal!

GAMES & LEARNING ACTIVITIES:

• For very young children, someone named Megan created a simple file folder game called "Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ Love Me."  It's free to download HERE.  There's also one called "I Am a Child of God" for download HERE.
• The Sunbeam manual has this cute verse to recite with accompanying actions:
  "Heavenly Father knows me (point to self)
  And what I like to do.
  He knows my name and where I live (make a roof by touching fingers of both hands).
  I know he loves me, too (cross arms and put hands on shoulders in hug).
  He knows what makes me happy (put fingers on smiling mouth).

  He knows what makes me sad (put fingers on down-turned mouth).

  I know he wants to help me (point to self),

  And that’s what makes me glad!"
• There's a cute game about how Christ showed (and shows) love, for junior primary-aged kids, free for download HERE.
• Play "spin the bottle," except when it lands on you you have to say something the Lord does for you or gives you that helps you know He loves you.
• Tell the children that you have one of the most important people in the world inside your special box. Have the children take turns guessing who it is. Then allow them one at a time to look inside the box. (Inside the box you put a large mirror, so when the children look inside they see themselves.) After they have all had a turn looking inside the box, ask them the question again. Explain to them that they each are one of the most important people in the world because they are unique/different and that there is no one else in the world just like them and that each one of them is a child of God.
• For older children/youth: Elder Koelliker lists several scripture stories in his talk about prophets who felt God's love.  Assign a different scripture story (from the talk, like Nephi, Alma, and Mormon, or others you can think of) to each family member (if you can find a picture to go along with it that's even better...there are some Book of Mormon pictures online HERE) to read and have them teach the rest of the family why they needed to feel God's love and how it changed their lives.
• For older children/youth: Elder Koelliker talks a lot about patterns in his talk; "Patterns are templates, guides, repeating steps, or paths one follows to stay aligned with God’s purpose. If followed, they will keep us humble, awake, and able to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit from those voices that distract us and lead us away."  If you're a sewer or knitter/crocheter, you can show a pattern and talk about how it shows you how to make something.  If we want to make a happy life for ourselves, or feel the love of God, we have to follow the pattern!  You could also do a pattern with shapes and talk about how we feel blessed (and therefore feel God's love in our lives), obey, feel blessed, obey...it's a pattern that repeats itself throughout our lives!

HANDOUTS & FREEBIES:

• There are coloring pages about God's loving us HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE.
• There's a simple puzzle free to download HERE.  I think it'd be cute as a handout.  :)
• There is a simple heart-shaped handout available HERE.  Kids draw a self-portrait in the middle.
• Cut hearts out of foam or construction paper and glue one to the end of a popsicle stick for each family member.  Have them raise their hearts whenever someone says the word "love."  This will keep them listening throughout the whole lesson!
• I made this 8"x10" free printable to go along with one of my favorite quotes from the talk:

Free download HERE.

• CELEBRATE YOU!  I also have a little jpeg I made that you can print out, cut, and laminate for bookmarks, etc.  You can also print off individual images (they're 5x7).  Enjoy!

YOU*NIQUE
BE*YOU*TIFUL
YOU*NITED

ALL THREE (Celebrate YOU!) DOWNLOAD

CRAFTS & MORE:

• "Love Bouquet"--cut out a bunch of hearts and glue/tape on pipe cleaners.  Brainstorm as a family different ways God shows us He loves us, and write each idea on a different heart.  Put them all together into a "love bouquet" in a vase with some fillers.  I might do a 2-dimensional idea of this with some chalkboard paint on the heart-shaped flowers so I can change it out (or laminate and use dry erase markers).
• The idea above would also be a fun spin on a "heart attack"--create a bunch of hearts and have a place where you can write ways the Lord shows love to your family THIS WEEK and tape/pin them up throughout the week.  Review the wall/board/area at the beginning of next week's FHE.

TREATS:

• ANYTHING heart-shaped, of course!  Heart-shaped cookies, fruits, bread/rolls, etc.  Strawberries with the tops cut off so they are more heart-shaped are always a crowd-pleaser.